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Electra vs Oedipus: The Drama of the Mother-Daughter Relationship, by Hendrika C. Freud
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Electra vs Oedipus explores the deeply complex and often turbulent relationship between mothers and daughters. In contrast to Sigmund Freud’s conviction that the father is the central figure, the book puts forward the notion that women are in fact far more (pre)occupied with their mother.
Drawing on the author’s extensive clinical experience, the book provides numerous case studies which shed light on women’s emotional development. Topics include:
- love and hate between mothers and daughters
- the history of maternal love
- childbirth and depression
- rejected mothers.
Electra vs Oedipus will be a valuable resource for psychoanalysts, psychotherapists and all those with an interest in the dynamics of the mother–daughter relationship.
- Sales Rank: #2112119 in Books
- Published on: 2010-08-29
- Released on: 2010-07-21
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.21" h x .49" w x 6.14" l, .75 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 216 pages
About the Author
Hendrika C. Freud is a Psychoanalyst and a Member of The International Psychoanalytic Association and Association for Child Psychoanalysis. She is a teacher, supervisor and training analyst of the Dutch Psychoanalytic Society and The Dutch Psychoanalytic Association and has been in private practice for nearly fifty years.
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Post Structuralist View of Oedipal Conflict.
By Amazon Customer
Great exposition of Freud's Oedipal position updated to include the role of the mother in a different light. Not only object relations theory but also Lacanian thought and current feminist views. Boys and girls experience mothers in different ways. Explains pathology of the mother -daughter dyad. Offers clinical vignettes.
1 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
What Some Women Go Through
By Markus Youssef
This book is about how the myth of Electra can be viewed as a guiding metaphor to describe the situation when the relationship between mother and daughter goes awry. She offers a different take on Mahler's view of symbiosis being a natural stage of development and includes a variety of examples from her work to back up her views (Chap 2). She ponders "what would have happened had psychoanalysis been the brainchild of a woman rather than of a man. Instead of the Oedipus story - a man's drama - it is likely that the myth of Electra would have been the point of departure. It offers an excellent illustration of some of the pitfalls that women face in their development." She also dedicates a chapter on post partum depression and one as well on the history of hysteria suggesting that chronic fatigue syndrome is one of society's modern versions of it. I think the translator did an excellent of job of translating this book from Dutch into English as it makes for an easy to follow read. Some quotes from it as follows:
"A child is too much in need of the mother's love not to do what the latter wants. Anger only appeared when Wendy was with people other than her mother. This mechanism is known as 'splitting.' The same mechanism applies when children enjoy stories about the hateful stepmother, reserving their love for their own mother. The good and the bad mother - the same person originally - are divided between two or more individuals, so that the positive relationship with the mother is not threatened." pg 18
"An expectant mother sometimes has the fantasy that all her yearnings, aspirations, and unfulfilled ideals will be met by her daughter. .. But if the mother ... is depressed, she will not be able to tell her fantasy baby and actual baby apart very well. At that point she sees in the cradle what she hopes to see - or else the one she did not want to see again - instead of the child that is lying there as its own individual being and in its own manifestation. She sees her despised mother in the baby and reacts by projecting her past onto it: 'She wanted nothing to do with me from the moment she was born', 'She never wanted to be touched', 'She has always been very distant', and so forth. She sees her baby as her enemy or, conversely, as a part of her body and mind. In the latter case, she will begin to consider her baby as an irreplaceable extension of herself. The child is fed when the mother is hungry or gets attention when she is in need of validation." pg 22
"When a daughter becomes pregnant, she sometimes senses two competing dyads arising. She must be loyal to her mother but also has her child to care for. She is called on from two sides. The grandmother and the baby are fighting for the young mother's attention. She fears her mother's jealousy of the child who is now getting her full attention. Then she begins to suffer great strain, and will become depressed and furious, usually with her husband. No matter how hard he tries, he can never do anything right any more." pg 23
"Mental health is as rare as a perfect set of teeth: imperfection is the norm" pg 46
"Donald Winnicott, the celebrated English pediatrician and psychoanalyst, described this as the false self of the as-if personality, who allows his desire to be guided by his need for approval. The desire is then one of fulfilling the mother's desire in order to obtain her love and approval and avoid her (unconscious) hatred." pg 48
"To salvage her sense of self-worth, rejection then replaces loving." pg 54
"symbiosis can be interpreted as a pathological two-sided illusion that can hold a daughter imprisoned. It seems a more fruitful use of the concept than symbiosis as a normal development phase. pg 59
"This leads to a second paradox of the symbiotic illusion. Differences are denied, while the two parts never really become each other's equals. Nina knows just two possibilities: either she is the dependent and rejected one, or she herself looks down on her objects as inferior. .. Nina feels that she is a victim while, at the same time, she profits from her position as the indispensible one because that gives her exclusive rights to her mother's love ..." pg 60
"a woman often recognizes her mother in her (first) husband." pg 61
"The myths of Oedipus and Electra are very different in nature, although they both address a child's rivalry with the parent of the same sex ... Actually, Clytemnestra is equally as helpless a victim of fate as is Electra, and she, too, has a childlike yearning for a loving mother ... In her despair, Clytemnestra looks to Electra for comfort, almost as if the latter is her mother, and not her daughter. This moment of weakness only arouses contempt and mistrust in Electra ...." pg 65
"Elizabeth took revenge by not speaking, vexing her mother with her silence. ... In the transference, she is as uncommunicative with me as previously she used to be with her mother. She is vague, polite, and when she speaks, it is in an impersonal, bureaucratic language without emotion." pg 69
"The mother is blamed for not being a satisfying love object for the girl and, furthermore, for getting in the way of the girl's relationship with her father. This leads to a split between the frustrating 'bad' mother, on the one hand, and the idealized 'good' father figure, on the other. Thus, as metaphor, Electra seems to me to be more suitable than Oedipus to the problematic aspects of female development." pg 79
"She is unconsciously trying to elicit a position from me that demonstrates a strong analogy with what her mother does to her." pg 116
"Her fear of dependency and her need for control are expressed in another way as well: she speaks compulsively ... " pg 118
"Anitra became profoundly disappointed that the strong bond she thought she had with her mother was based on nothing more than a small alliance against her father." pg 121
"frequently a child involuntarily adopts the very characteristics of a parent that have made it suffer in the past in order to fight that parent with his or her own weapons. Martha had - unconsciously - projected her 'swallowed' mother, who still irritated her, onto her husband and suffered from his disagreeable behaviour in the same say that she used to suffer from her mother earlier." pg 134
"This means that a person can let go of the childlike idea that he or she is the centre of the world and can accept having two parents who were together well before the child entered the stage. One can become an adult only once this has successfully happened - that is, once the individual in question is capable of acknowledging and tolerating his or her position as the third party in the triad between parents and child." pg 137
"Not every woman has an Electra complex, but the designation is valid when complications in the mother-daughter relationship impede normal development." pg 154
"Another case of splitting is that of a mother who divides her ambivalent feelings between two children, one of whom appears to her as ideal and the other as insufferable. Similarly, dividing experiences between the conscious and the unconscious part of the psyche is also a case of splitting." pg 156
"Only at the end of his life did Freud discover the importance of the mother as a figure central to a girl's life. Therein Freud's blind spot for the role of mothers, first of all his own mother, who was an extremely dominant presence in his life, was playing tricks on him." pg 160
There are some very intimate sections in this book which I didn't quote from and in the end, this book left me with a much better appreciation of what some women might have to deal with.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Tee Time Girl
Awesome!!!!
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